The Apple Core…
Remember the last time you ate a ripe, crispy, beautiful sour green apple? We know how good they can be.
You wash it lovingly under the tap. It is cold. It is hard. You take that first bite. Juicy! Wow, you love that fucking apple. You proceed to eat it, loving every single bite just a little more than the last, hoping and wishing that it will never be over.
Now, imagine that you take your time eating that juicy, delicious apple. So good that you are already anticipating the afterthoughts of how good that apple was. And then, the very last bite that you take, you bite into the fucking apple core. FUCK! The whole fucking experience of the apple is now the memory of The Apple Core.
You can’t even remember the first bite anymore. You certainly don’t remember the juice that dripped down the left side of your cheek. All you can remember and taste is that dirty, hard seed that is still stuck somewhere in the back of your mouth, requiring you to stick your finger all the way back there to dislodge it.
Now think of a beautiful piece of ass that you pick up at the bar. You walk into the bar with your boys, horny, and before you know it the most beautiful girl at the bar is standing next to you smiling, laughing at your jokes, touching you more than necessary. You spend the whole night talking about how much you want to bang her. By the end of the night, you even have your hand down the back of her tight black skirt. Now you have Shit Finger to carry you all the way until you get home .
And then you are home with her. She is even more beautiful with all the lights on than she was in the dark, dingy bar where you met her.
Your thoughts at this point: “Bang the fuck out of her, make her remember me, and don’t cum too quickly.”
And now you are banging her like a champion. You are making all the right moves. You feel like you might cum, so you pull out your pig. You want it to go forever. You want to be a superstar.
Once the sensation has receded, you put it back in. And now you are fucking her like a star. You never knew you could pull back flips while fucking a chick, but now you are a sexual gymnast, a contortionist.
And now you have her on the hook. She’s cuming, she’s telling you she’s cuming, and you are ready to blast, too. And just as she is coming you decide that this apple is just too good to stop eating. So what do you do, you fucking idiot? You pull your pig out and try and stop something that has, unfortunately, already begun. Apple Core!!!
It’s too late. The rabbit is out of the hat. The trick is over. She just had a fantastic orgasm, and you are left there like a fucking drooling retard with your hand around your cock, squeezing it as hard as you can to try and stop it from shooting. Guess what? You don’t stand a chance. You just experienced The Apple Core.
Advice: I know how much you want to impress the new piece of ass you just brought home, but it makes no fucking difference. No matter how good you made her cum, she’s not going to think you’re cool when you are dribbling your own cum all over your own hand and crying, cursing the fucking apple core. “Goddamn fucking Apple Core!” Just fucking cum when it is time.
You are the man. You fuck her, not the other way around.
Postscript: Because you feel so bad about this smoking hot chick and the Apple Core situation, you might be tempted to offer her another apple. But this never works out.
Firstly, the second apple never tastes as good as the first. Secondly, she’s so happy about her half of the first apple that she now wants to go to sleep after all the fucking drinks you fed her. Now you are fingering a dead drunk cow.
Additional Postscript: The Apple Core isn’t always with new girls, although it should be. It also happens sometimes with your girlfriend who you have been banging for six, seven months. You are a fucking weak asshole! The bitch already loves you.
Why would you even put yourself in a position of experiencing the Apple Core? Understand that she is happy that you washed the apple in the sink.
She no longer cares if you even eat the whole thing.
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