Misadventures in Dating

Spot: Target/Restaurant/Home
Chic: 32/Italian
Body type: Fit/ Great ass
Occupation: DABA Girl

I’m doing laundry and I realize that I’m missing boxers, t-shirts a few hoodies. First thing I think is they are in the laundry. Wait I’m doing the fucking laundry! Then it hits me, every time a chic comes over, I “lend” her clothes but I never see them again.

Decided I need to re-up on the necessities for the walks of shame.Head over to the nearest Target to get some cheap clothes for my future guests. I’m walking thru the aisles and who do I see? The cunt from the previous post. Let’s call her “Baby Voice”.

This chic gives the term bubbly a whole new meaning; she is basically bouncing off of the walls. Eventually she drops the bomb, she want to do dinner tonight. Thinking with my cock I say ok. The mind numbing conversation over dinner wanted me to again slit my throat. Like seriously, what the fuck makes her think her sons well being is my concern, I’m not the little runts father.

Side note: She was buzzed on 2 glasses of wine so I drove her to my place.

We get to my place, now usually I would actually make an attempt at foreplay, but tonight was going to be all about me. Needed to clear the chamber of a couple rounds, you know get the cobwebs out. After that, it is whatever.

Or so I thought.

Now in my experience whenever a chic tells me “I don’t usually give head,” she inevitably ends up being a champion cocksucker. The ones who say they never do it, do it the best. However, Baby Voice was the exception. By far, she gave the worst blow job I have gotten, she had no technique, her teeth felt like a cheese greater on my shaft, never felt her tongue unless she was licking my cock like it were a fucking lollipop.

I never understood why she was bad at giving head, I mean she was a great kisser…

The first few times she had given me head she made it clear that I couldn’t cum in her mouth, I can respect that, after all I wouldn’t want to cum in my mouth. So in the past I would give her a tap on the head when I was about to cum.

All of a sudden, she starts with the fucking baby voice again. You have to be a fucking pedophile to enjoy a chic sucking your dick while saying “do you like it baby, does it turn you on?” in a fucking baby voice!

That was enough, I couldn’t take it anymore, it was a moral imperative (if you know what movie that line is from ill give you an autographed t-shirt) that I blow my load in her mouth.

As soon as I came, she let out a little yelp like a wondering mutt and looks up at me. Imagine her calling me an asshole while she still has a mouthful of cum dripping down her chin.

Me, being me, started laughing my ass off, like any other chic She got pissed and spat my cum back on my face, grabbed her clothes and said she was going home.

Still laying in my bed trying to get over the fact that my cum is all over my face, she walks back into my room and has the nerve to ask me for a ride to her car.

Being the gentleman I am, I said no, that’s what they have cars for.

Eventually the cab comes and she leaves.

When I hopped into the shower, I broke down laughing at the fact I was now washing my spunk off of me.

Its true what they say, karma is a bitch!

Casual Dater Match.com Annoying, Cougar, Easy, loose, Milf, single mom, Taarget

Spot: A few
Chic: 27/Mexican
Body type: Fit
Occupation: Student

*****REPOST from 12/16/08I know its been while, but I just haven’t been going out in the last couple of weeks.

To those of you who have been emailing and asking for updates. Here is a little story from about almost a year ago to hold you over.

One of my friends invited me out to meet her girlfriends, had no plans so I called my wing man and asked if he would like to come with. Few hours later I get the the Upper East Side, Molly Pitcher and Ale House to be exact. My friend introduces me to her roommates cousin, now the roommate is the size of Pluto, fuck that its no longer a planet, she was the size of Saturn. I’m halfway expecting a nasty fat cunt who smells!

All of a sudden she steps in front of me, its as if the gods decided for once that the chic would be smoking hot. Lets call her “eaR-sixelA”. We are having fun, she seems like the anti goldigger type, lives out of state, figure 2000 miles away and sarcastic as hell. The night is coming along, 6 dirty martini’s later she, yes she leans over and says, “so you wanna get out of here.” By pure reflex I said ok my place is not too far from your cousins pad.

Walked outside to catch a cab, it was so cold my nipples were perked up. Cab ride was good, stripped her top and bra off, got some head, hell the cabby even got a show, get back to my place and do the main event.

Next day she goes out and about with her cousin, we exchange numbers and she goes the fuck back to Texas.

This is where the story gets interesting……………..

Over the next 2 or 3 weeks this cunt starts texting me about 80 or 90 times a day with maybe 5 replies from me. This hot, dirty little Mexican would say the nastiest things in these messages and eventually said she wanted to come back to see me.

Me being me, I said ok and she could stay with me thinking I would have a weekend of sex.

Here is the problem, by the time we got to the day of her arrival I was so sick of her texting and calling me, I didn’t even want her here.
She should have seen the warning signs.

1. the day before she came I told her I would be too tired t pick her up from the airport.
2. dodged all of her calls the day she was coming in.
3. told her i had a date the night before she came in.
Midnight hits and my doorman calls to say she is here, so I say let her up, she gets to my door all pissy that I didn’t go downstairs to get her. What the fuck, what sense does it make for me to go downstairs just to come back upstairs minutes later?

Bitches be crazy!

She was all about wanting to go out and have a couple drinks, but I told her I was tired, so we stayed in and I faked passing out so I didn’t have to speak to her.

Wake up on Saturday Morning and the mere sound of her saying morning babe just made me want to slit my throat.

Decided I would fake sick so we wouldn’t have to go out. Was kinda cool having someone pamper me all day and give me a massage. Figured I would reward her and give her the cock she came for.

We are making out, moaning and groaning, and all the other stuff (for this story you don’t need an actual description of the sex). Eventually I get tired of fucking her in the pussy so I flip her over, put her on all fours and spread her cheeks to stuff that ass.

All excited, I put some spit in my hand to lube her up, I look down at the target and I SEE HAIR.

Instantly I loose all wood and and just get plain disgusted.

WHAT RIGHT DOES SHE HAVE TO PLAN TO COME SEE ME AND NOT GET A FUCKING BRAZILIAN DONE? Who does that (or doesnt do that) in this day and age!

Totally loosing any interest or intent of fucking her again, I rolled over, put my clothes on and decided to go hang out with a buddy leaving her at my place.

Throwing back a pint or two with my buddy trying to figure out how I’m getting her out of my place asap. It dawns on me, stay out late till she goes to bed and when I wake up the next day and pick a fight.

Why couldn’t she be like every other chic you fuck who thinks to themselves, how is this douche gonna try to get rid of me (don’t fool yourself into think you are so slick that chics don’t think this). They have better game than us.

That is how we left it, Monday morning she arose with the sun and left for the airport asking for a kiss, had to be honest, told her I couldn’t kiss her if she didn’t brush her teeth.

Moral of the story is, no matter how horny you are, or dirty she is. Never ever invite a bitch from out of town to stay with you, you will be tied to her for the entire time.

And ladies, yes I know women read this, wax your cooch and ass. No guy wants to floss with your pubes….

Casual Dater Real Life Annoying, clingy, dirty, hairy, Hometown, Mexican, Molly's Pitcher and Ale House, Slut, stupid, Texas