Are you fucking kidding me? (taken from AskMen.com)
Listen I grew up on 70’s porn (was all I could dig up from my fathers collection when I was a teen in the 90’s) but I like a clean, smooth twat as much as the next guy, maybe even a tightly trimmed landing strip. But a return to the powder puff of the 70’s? Hell no!
Chics and guys I would appreciate your comments/views on this topic seeing as it affects ALL of us…
Spot: Churrascaria Porcao
Chic: 28/Brazilian
Body type: Brazilian
Occupation: Doctor
I won’t hit on a chic at the gym unless she’s in tight tights, bent over on a leg machine with a 
phenomenal ass staring up at me. With that said, this beauty from Ipanema had all of the above and well, she was nothing short of amazing.
I made my way through every leg machine in her sight line (good thing I planned on working back that day) I threw gym etiquette to the wind by asking her out. I wish I can tell you I came up with some great line, but in simplicity there is beauty… And nothing as simply beautiful as the “yes” that rolled off her tongue.
Seeing as Sunday was too short a notice, and we both had plans, the next day would have to do.
Side note: Typically the easiest way to have a chic feel comfortable with you in the blink of an eye is to take her somewhere indicative of her culture/upbringing. In most cases, after religion, Brazilians love their food.
We met at Churrascaria Porcao, on Park Ave. Turns out we had a lot in common, we are both aggressive type A’s that need to get what we want and it turns out she is a Doctor, jokingly I said you aren’t a Chiropractor are you? I hear they aren’t really doctors… Apparently she found that funny and moved closer to me (I wouldn’t date a chiro, they are just average).
Through conversation, she said if I thought I was getting lucky tonight, I was sorely mistaken. Nonchalantly I said, “what makes you think I would sleep with you?” If she was anything that resembled a type A, her ego would parlay my rebuttal into a challenge.
Either way I win! No?
Being the chosen one that I am, we ended up at my place. Now I can go into details about the mind blowing sex I had with her, but the crux of the story is what happened in the morning while I was getting ready for work.
Side note 2: Brazilians, tend to be very religious (except we used a condom or 6) and respectful to older people. Plus they are the most beautiful women in the world!
My day usually begins at 5:30 in the AM, TV comes on with financial news, all the speakers throughout are a buzz with whatever the TV is spitting out.
I invite her to come shower with me and I even offered her a toothbrush (we know it was going straight into the bin after she left, after all this was to be a one time appearance) to go with the shower. She declined saying she needed a few more minutes in bed.
OK, I had morning wood and had to basically pee upside down, I took a shower and got ready for work.
House Keeper: My house keeper is the shit, after my mother there is my house keeper and my secretary, no other women will ever come close. She has been with me for 4-5 years. She makes my breakfast, freshly squeezed OJ everyday, keeps my place clean, does my laundry and if she finds lingering thongs strewn about, she throws them away, never to be found.
I gently nudged Ipanema to get dressed and she said it;
“It’s OK, I can stay here and leave after you go to work.”
In my mind I’m like fuck no, so I did what any smart man would do. I told her to listen carefully, to which she heard my housekeeper setting my breakfast up. She asked who was that since I told her I lived alone.
I looked her square in the eye and said, “It’s my mom, she came to make me breakfast today.”
With the a look of fright and embarrassment she threw her clothes on and “convinced” me to sneak her out of my place.
Smiling I sat at the counter about to dig into my breakfast when my housekeeper bursts out laughing and says, “let me guess, I’m your mother?”
To which I said yes….
It’s now about 9:30 in the AM and I have already received 2 text messages from my Ipanema asking when we are going out again.
I think not….
Game, set and match? Me!
Ciao
Spot: Spice Market
Chic: 28/Indian
Body type: Phenomenal
Occupation: Doctor
Anyone who knows me can say I am a sucker for a tanned chic with long black flowing hair, and usually Indian women fit this bill.
The night started off at Spice Market in the Gold Diggers District for a buddy’s birthday dinner. As tradition dictated, if it were during the week it was to be a dinner celebration just for the guys. Or so we thought…
Not your parents Bollywood.
After making our way downstairs with mojito’s in hand, our rather stunning hostess sat us down next to a gaggle of women who had the “librarian” look. You know, demure, innocent quiet looking. And like most, if not all women that possess the librarian look we expected them to be well vigorous to say the least.
Side note: the chics were Italian, Greek, Brazilian, Lebanese, Indian and Brazilian.
Side note 2: this is why these guys are my friends. Without a single word we started moving our table to join their’s.
Startled, surprised and blood rushing to their cheeks, one of then mustered the courage to ask what we were doing.
Goose, stepping up to the plate simply replied, “well you ladies look bit bored, we thought we would make your evening memorable, or at least try to.”
Side note 3: I believe women are in desperate need of real men and are bored with the sniveling effeminate pseudo male specimens (hipsters included) walking the streets of New York.
Without another word, my friends and I took our seats and started engaging in conversation with the women. Surprisingly, they actually had opinions and what not. Turns out they were all second year residents at Cornell on 68th and Yorke.
Perking up we make it know who was after which chic. After all its not everyday you find a woman much less 6 women that have the ability to possibly mount a challenge.
Thinking that Indian is next on my list I engage Neha (not her real name) in conversation about her chosen profession, after all I was pre-med at one point. Plus how hard can it be to insert scalpel and cut LOL.
After an hour and a half or so of what turned out to be great conversation and decent food, it came out that these ladies were all off tomorrow and looking to have a good time. Now a good time doesn’t necessarily mean sex, but tonight we were going to steer it that way.
We opted to stay there for a couple more drinks as opposed to going somewhere else and possibly loosing a chic or 2 and hence killing anyone else’s shot at some ass.
While talking to Neha she told me she always wanted to smoke hookah. Low and behold I told her that I had one back at my place and invited her to come with saying that I wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want me to do. Good thing I can be very convincing….
We get back to my place, while Im packing the hookah she is walking around giving herself a tour, peering into my closets, bathroom and of course taking a peak at my bedroom. I put Grey’s Anatomy on (I just had to) the TV and we started smoking hookah and drinking some wine.
Here is the moment I knew she was mine. She inhaled some of the smoke and came within a millimeter of my lips and started blowing the smoke onto me. Waiting for her to finish, i reached behind her head and pulled her in for what would be the first kiss of many. Dropping the hose of the hookah she moves over and starts straddling me. running her hands through my hair then taking my shirt off.
I’m laying on top of her, foreplay is great, she tasted even better when I went down on her (obviously she passed the smell test). Deciding it was more primal, I picked her up and started fucking her up against the wall, her moaning made me want her more, the depth of her breathing sending me deeper inside with each stroke. She started reaching around when I felt her nails sink into me, wrought with unadulterated passion I started slamming her into the wall every time she dug in.
Eventually after we took each other to multiple orgasms she gets up and makes her way to my bedroom with a come hither look and the smile of the devil I had seen so many times before on my face.
This librarian wasn’t done with me. We ended up fucking for the better part of the night, by my last count we had sex in at least 15 positions in the bedroom.
After sleeping for about 2 hours I woke up at about 6 A.M. to what I would consider an A class blowjob.
Me being me I reached into my night table for a condom picked her up and took her to the shower.
We ended up in bed again till she had to leave at 10 A.M.
As she was getting dressed she looked over and asked, if I wanted her number or was this just a one night stand for me.
Pleasantly surprised I didn’t get the “I don’t usually do these things” line, I pulled her back in bed for a couple more hours of fun.
Turns out she may stick around as a fuck buddy, because in her words, she didn’t have the time or need for a relationship.
Finally a woman that speaks my language!
Lesson learned, never judge a book by its cover or it’s first read…
Spot: MO Bar
Chic: 29/Jewish
Body type: Taught
Occupation: IB Analyst
Some talk of a point system. I on the other hand much prefer getting my end wet. I have made my way through the first 10 and will blog them in days to come. With that said, each chic gets a yes or a no for being fucked. Plain and simple.
Having just closed a deal in this PoS market I decided my team deserved a night out on the town. It was time to go big, or go home. This wasn’t going to be a night for the timid. Hell I’d even wager that the women on my team have bigger balls than 90% of you sheep reading this.
Let me preface by saying in NYC “The Jewish Chic” has a reputation for their love of swallowing, but ineptitude for a proper dick sucking…
As we entered I knew the status-quo of this dive would not tolerate our behavior or lack there of, doing the only thing to guarantee our position in the bar I ordered a few bottles of Goose and Champagne (none of that cheap shit you see in the rap videos) for my guys.
Tonight I decided was going to be about my team. Let them cut loose before I put them back into their boxes.
After a couple of hours, now starting to hear the same stories over and over I figured I would ride my haze of Goose and Club over to the bar to find a warm body for the night.
To my surprise, there were a pair of women (one standing the other sitting) at the bar, equally gorgeous. At first sight I knew the traditional approach wouldn’t work on either.
Pealing off my jacket I eased in between and ordered a Dirty Martini. When The svelte tanned beauty that turned out to be Israeli said “excuse me, but we were talking here”.
While hanging my jacket on the back of her stool, I said it’s was OK I didn’t mind with a smile on my face.
Apparently she was taken back by my brazen move and introduced herself as Anya and her friend Alinee.
Within half an hour, the three of us were laughing, touching and flirting with each other. Before we knew it, it was closing time. While in the elevator Alinee begins telling me that she is a fan of anal sex, immediately I forgot about Anya. Apparently you don’t leave Baby in the corner. Anya crept up from behind slipping her hand into my pants while reaching for Alinee. With what I would assume is a nod of approval she says ok lets go back to your place.
Side note: Aline was 32, fit and had long flowing dark hair.
Finally back to my place, music on, lights low and wine flowing like water, Alinee and Anya begin making out running their hands all over each others body. We started with the foreplay and the oral sex, but all I could think about was sinking my cock into Alinee’s Brazilian Ass. Every time Anya came onto me it was as though I were letting my chances with Alinee slip through my fingers.
Side note 2: As I learned later they are bi and are in a relationship with each other.
Tired of the foreplay I decided to bend Anya over my couch and I started fucking her from behind. The sight of Alinee playing with herself coupled with me slamming in and out of Anya made me harder than I have been in years. It was as though I were reliving my youth.
Eventually it was Alinee’s turn. Now it was time for me to do the obligatory fuck her in the pussy for 10 minutes before I could spend hopefully the better part of half an hour in her ass, as this was the moment I was waiting for. One problem, I used my last condom on the Israeli. With that, I was resigned to have only had sex with the Jewish Chic.
At least I got one off the list.
Shalom…
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