Worst make out line from a chic ever…
Spot: Blue Owl
Chic: 37/Indian
Body type: Fit
Occupation: Teacher I think
I’m on my second Match.com date for the night.
We are meeting at a bar around Union Square, nice spot, drinks are good, people are hot, I guess they just didn’t let ugly people in.
I get there about 10 mins early to settle in and make friends with the bartender (the bartender can be your best friend if you want to get laid with the chic or ditch the bitch) and claim my spot at the bar.
Eventually she gets there, orders a Tanqueray and tonic, she sits on a bar stool, pulls me closer so her knee is in between my legs (I’m standing). We are talking about why we are on match, she says I’m her first date, I tell her she is prob somewhere between my 100th and 125th date maybe off of match.
The refreshing thing is when she asks if I’m a womanizer I say yes, and this is where its starts to get interesting.
Her knee brushing up against my cock, she keeps leaning in sand smelling me. Finally her drink gets to her. After a sip she hops off of her stool while saying “How tall are you?”, before I could answer she lunges for my mouth and starts kissing me, my kind of woman, no effort at all.
She sits back down, chuggs her drink and says lets go back to her place.
Me, willing, ready and able decided I’ll make to trek to fucking Brooklyn for a piece of her ass.
Get to her place, we are fucking, I’m probing her ass with my finger to see if she would be into anal, and no resistance from her or her ass. I’m thinking this is fucking awesome, I had never fucked an Indian chic in the ass.
Side note: She sucked at giving head and kissing.
After about an hour of fucking we fall asleep, have to give her credit, she wasn’t a cuddler.
Don’t ask me what time, but her fucking dog jumps on the bed and I wake up to something licking my thigh, I’m thinking OK she wants round 2. I turn over and I see her little mutt licking me and I push it away.
I tried going back to sleep, but the mutt kept jumping on the bed, then I realized the entire place smelt like dog.
Thinking that karma gives you back what you give out. I wake up the chic and tell her to drop me home, I mean how many times have I had to walk out into the cold to drop a bitch home.
Almost to my place, she says that she wants me to add her on Facebook, being a nice guy this time I ask her if its Sarah with an H or without an H? She hits the brakes (thank god for seatbelts) and the car skids to a stop on the exit ramp of the Brooklyn Bridge. in Manhattan. All I heard was “who the fuck do you think you are, that you can fuck me and not even know my name?”
I really thought her name was Sara(h), apparently it was Sandra. Honest mistake right?
She starts going on and on about guys just wanting to use her for her body. So I told her, why buy the cow if you are already getting the milk for free.
I guess that was the last straw because she basically kicked me out of her car.
Few hours later, I get a friend request on Facebook from her, so I politely declined sending her an email saying I didn’t want milk for that cow anymore.
She texted me everynight after to meet up with her, but I guess the chase was better than the catch…
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