Misadventures in Dating

R.I.P.
The Hist List
3-16-09 to 4-19-09

Having been with us for just over a month, on April 19 2009, the last chic on the list succumbed to the Casual Dater. In honor of these fallen chics I will be updating the blog in the coming weeks describing most, if not all of the sordid liaisons that were a product of the Hit List…

Cheers
-CD

Out of respect for the list (not the chics), I have decided to retire the word “chic” from all future posts and revert to “chicks.”

Casual Dater Commentary, Hit List, JBIC Hit List

Spot: DABA Central (Ulysses)
Chic: 29/American Mutt (WASP)
Body type: Pilates
Occupation: Analyst

As we all know Ulysses is the mecca of the bar scene below Centre Street. It is here every Thursday evening both men and chics swing by for at least one drink to peruse the menu of bankers, traders, analysts, lawyers and other financial types that seek solace in a pint/drink/martini and the opportunity to wake up next to what at some point in the night was a “hot” warm body the next morning.

Perhaps this is where the DABA’s train their little DABIT’s from time to time. Understand that the average woman who goes to Ulysses is not to be underestimated, after all they are not the prey, they are the hunters. I know many DABA’s that have made the leap to MABA by meeting their then FBF at Ulysses.

Finding my usual spot at the bar (sans suit of course) about to have dinner after a long weathering day in the office, not in the mood for the “game” that ensues around, I concentrate on my turkey club and fries while catching up with the bartenders.

Here is the mistake most men who go to Ulysses make. It doesn’t matter if you wear a $3,000 suit when you live in fucking Brooklyn. Most women there want a man that has the “100″ at the start of his zip code. Now if you happen to saunter in shortly after Happy Hour starts in regular clothes, the first thing the astute DABA thinks is you live in the area, hence you are desirable.

I forgot to change my watch to something a bit more subdued. Like true gold diggers they found me. Now I usually wouldn’t mind, but I had my Turkey Sandwich sitting in front of me waiting to be devoured. Yet I had to put up with these pushy little twats coming to order drinks next to me and “accidentally” bumping in to me.

Deciding I had to have my sandwich and eat it, I waited for the right DABA. Eventually she showed, not a fault could be found with her physique. A goddess by any standard or definition.

As she ordered her drink and the bartender was about to charge her, I said to put it on my tab and went back to my sandwich. Surpirised I didn’ start talking to her, she asked why I would buy a drink and not say a word to her.

I simply replied, “you are kinda cute,” and once again went back to my sandwich.

Aside: She knows I am interested but not how much I’m interested. I would have probably ran around the bar naked for a shot at doing her. But I couldn’t let her know that.

Taking initiative upon herself she engages me in conversation, pretty smart I must say. When I was done eating I got up and told her to enjoy her evening. With a look of bewilderment on her face she asked if I were leaving already.

Here was my “in” so to speak. I could stay there and dance around the topic of sex all night or I could git er done.

Walking past her, I ran my fingers down her forearm till I grabbed hold of her hand and led her outside while she asked where we were going to which i relied, “my place or yours?”

Seeing as she lived maybe a block and a half away we went to her place. By the time we got out of her elevator, I was 3 fingers deep into her cheech.

Now I can tell you about the sex, but instead lets play a game, I’ll leave some space here and you fill it in with your version.

The next morning as I gathered my shyte to head home, cliche asks when we would be going out to dinner. Overcome with laughter, I gave her a “misadventuresindating.net” card and said wait for the DABA post, if you still want to talk to me, find my number…

Casual Dater Hit List, Real Life DABA, Hit List, Turkey Club, Ulysses

Spot: Churrascaria Porcao
Chic: 28/Brazilian
Body type: Brazilian
Occupation: Doctor

I won’t hit on a chic at the gym unless she’s in tight tights, bent over on a leg machine with a phenomenal ass staring up at me. With that said, this beauty from Ipanema had all of the above and well, she was nothing short of amazing.

I made my way through every leg machine in her sight line (good thing I planned on working back that day) I threw gym etiquette to the wind by asking her out. I wish I can tell you I came up with some great line, but in simplicity there is beauty… And nothing as simply beautiful as the “yes” that rolled off her tongue.

Seeing as Sunday was too short a notice, and we both had plans, the next day would have to do.

Side note: Typically the easiest way to have a chic feel comfortable with you in the blink of an eye is to take her somewhere indicative of her culture/upbringing. In most cases, after religion, Brazilians love their food.

We met at Churrascaria Porcao, on Park Ave. Turns out we had a lot in common, we are both aggressive type A’s that need to get what we want and it turns out she is a Doctor, jokingly I said you aren’t a Chiropractor are you? I hear they aren’t really doctors… Apparently she found that funny and moved closer to me (I wouldn’t date a chiro, they are just average).

Through conversation, she said if I thought I was getting lucky tonight, I was sorely mistaken. Nonchalantly I said, “what makes you think I would sleep with you?” If she was anything that resembled a type A, her ego would parlay my rebuttal into a challenge.

Either way I win! No?

Being the chosen one that I am, we ended up at my place. Now I can go into details about the mind blowing sex I had with her, but the crux of the story is what happened in the morning while I was getting ready for work.

Side note 2: Brazilians, tend to be very religious (except we used a condom or 6) and respectful to older people. Plus they are the most beautiful women in the world!

My day usually begins at 5:30 in the AM, TV comes on with financial news, all the speakers throughout are a buzz with whatever the TV is spitting out.

I invite her to come shower with me and I even offered her  a toothbrush (we know it was going straight into the bin after she left, after all this was to be a one time appearance) to go with the shower. She declined saying she needed a few more minutes in bed.

OK, I had morning wood and had to basically pee upside down, I took a shower and got ready for work.

House Keeper: My house keeper is the shit, after my mother there is my house keeper and my secretary, no other women will ever come close. She has been with me for 4-5 years. She makes my breakfast, freshly squeezed OJ everyday, keeps my place clean, does my laundry and if she finds lingering thongs strewn about, she throws them away, never to be found.

I gently nudged Ipanema to get dressed and she said it;

“It’s OK, I can stay here and leave after you go to work.”

In my mind I’m like fuck no, so I did what any smart man would do. I told her to listen carefully, to which she heard my housekeeper setting my breakfast up. She asked who was that since I told her I lived alone.

I looked her square in the eye and said, “It’s my mom, she came to make me breakfast today.”

With the a look of fright and embarrassment she threw her clothes on and “convinced” me to sneak her out of my place.

Smiling I sat at the counter about to dig into my breakfast when my housekeeper bursts out laughing and says, “let me guess, I’m your mother?”

To which I said yes….

It’s now about 9:30 in the AM and I have already received 2 text messages from my Ipanema asking when we are going out again.

I think not….

Game, set and match? Me!

Ciao

Casual Dater Hit List, Real Life brasiliana, brazil, Brazilian, Doctor, gorgeous, Hit List, typical

Spot: Spice Market
Chic: 28/Indian
Body type: Phenomenal
Occupation: Doctor

Anyone who knows me can say I am a sucker for a tanned chic with long black flowing hair, and usually Indian women fit this bill.

The night started off at Spice Market in the Gold Diggers District for a buddy’s birthday dinner.  As tradition dictated, if it were during the week it was to be a dinner celebration just for the guys. Or so we thought…

Not your parents Bollywood.

After making our way downstairs with mojito’s in hand, our rather stunning hostess sat us down next to a gaggle of women who had the “librarian” look. You know, demure, innocent quiet looking. And like most, if not all women that possess the librarian look we expected them to be well vigorous to say the least.

Side note: the chics were Italian, Greek, Brazilian, Lebanese, Indian and Brazilian.

Side note 2: this is why these guys are my friends. Without a single word we started moving our table to join their’s.

Startled, surprised and blood rushing to their cheeks, one of then mustered the courage to ask what we were doing.

Goose, stepping up to the plate simply replied, “well you ladies look bit bored, we thought we would make your evening memorable, or at least try to.”

Side note 3: I believe women are in desperate need of real men and are bored with the sniveling effeminate pseudo male specimens (hipsters included) walking the streets of New York.

Without another word, my friends and I took our seats and started engaging in conversation with the women. Surprisingly, they actually had opinions and what not. Turns out they were all second year residents at Cornell on 68th and Yorke.

Perking up we make it know who was after which chic. After all its not everyday you find a woman much less 6 women that have the ability to possibly mount a challenge.

Thinking that Indian is next on my list I engage Neha (not her real name) in conversation about her chosen profession, after all I was pre-med at one point. Plus how hard can it be to insert scalpel and cut LOL.

After an hour and a half or so of what turned out to be great conversation and decent food, it came out that these ladies were all off tomorrow and looking to have a good time. Now a good time doesn’t necessarily mean sex, but tonight we were going to steer it that way.

We opted to stay there for a couple more drinks as opposed to going somewhere else and possibly loosing a chic or 2 and hence killing anyone else’s shot at some ass.

While talking to Neha she told me she always wanted to smoke hookah. Low and behold I told her that I had one back at my place and invited her to come with saying that I wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want me to do. Good thing I can be very convincing….

We get back to my place, while Im packing the hookah she is walking around giving herself a tour, peering into my closets, bathroom and of course taking a peak at my bedroom. I put Grey’s Anatomy on (I just had to) the TV and we started smoking hookah and drinking some wine.

Here is the moment I knew she was mine. She inhaled some of the smoke and came within a millimeter of my lips and started blowing the smoke onto me. Waiting for her to finish, i reached behind her head and pulled her in for what would be the first kiss of many. Dropping the hose of the hookah she moves over and starts straddling me. running her hands through my hair then taking my shirt off.

I’m laying on top of her, foreplay is great, she tasted even better when I went down on her (obviously she passed the smell test). Deciding it was more primal, I picked her up and started fucking her up against the wall, her moaning made me want her more, the depth of her breathing sending me deeper inside with each stroke. She started reaching around when I felt her nails sink into me, wrought with unadulterated passion I started slamming her into the wall every time she dug in.

Eventually after we took each other to multiple orgasms she gets up and makes her way to my bedroom with a come hither look and the smile of the devil I had seen so many times before on my face.

This librarian wasn’t done with me. We ended up fucking for the better part of the night, by my last count we had sex in at least 15 positions in the bedroom.

After sleeping for about 2 hours I woke up at about 6 A.M. to what I would consider an A class blowjob.

Me being me I reached into my night table for a condom picked her up and took her to the shower.

We ended up in bed again till she had to leave at 10 A.M.

As she was getting dressed she looked over and asked, if I wanted her number or was this just a one night stand for me.

Pleasantly surprised I didn’t get the “I don’t usually do these things” line, I pulled her back in bed for a couple more hours of fun.

Turns out she may stick around as a fuck buddy, because in her words, she didn’t have the time or need for a relationship.

Finally a woman that speaks my language!

Lesson learned, never judge a book by its cover or it’s first read…

Casual Dater Hit List, Real Life Brazilian, Greek, Hit List, indian, Italian, Lebanese, Spice Market

Like anything else, to be successful, you must define your goals.

At first I decided to count previous conquests (13 based on the list) from within the last 3-4months. However Harper of The Daily Flavor (creator of the actual list) threw in a rule; “all conquests must be new”. Always up for a challenge and for something we shall call professional courtesy I decided to oblige.

Here are the rules;

1. Must all be after March 16 2009.
2. Each may only be counted in one category.
3. No additions, subtractions or substitutions.
4. Show no mercy, take no prisoners.

As I circumnavigate my way through the list, I will strike them off and perhaps blog it.

Updates can be found on The Hit List page.

Here is my list;

1. The Jewish Chic
2. The Indian Chic
3. The Spaniard Chic
4. The Cuban Chic
5. The Argentinian Chic
6. The Brazilian Chic
7. The Middle Eastern Chic
8. The Greek Chic
9. The Swedish Chic
10. The Brit Chic
11. The European Chic (Russian)
12. The Bo Derek (10) Chic
13. The Artist/Musician/Model/Waitress (also the hot dumb chic)
    
14. The Athletic Chic
15. The Good Chic (Best Liar)
16. The Bad Chic (Slut)
17. The Dog Lover Chic
18. The Doctor Chic
19. The Attorney Chic
20. The Over 30
21. The Single Mom Chic
22. The Bridge and Tunnel (B&T/SI) Chic
23. The Blue Collar Chic
    
24. The Ivy league/DABA/ High Maintenance Girl Chic
25. The Party Girl Chic

Casual Dater Hit List Hit List