Misadventures in Dating

…Somewhere there is a man tired of fucking her – Dennis Rodman

If you are looking for a wife, that’s one thing. You are probably losing a bit of hair and wondering if you might find yourself bald, fat, with nobody to dial 911 if you slip and fall on your lard-ass in the shower. She can cook your dinners and make you even fatter and fuck the gardener when you’re out at the gym trying to lose the weight that she told you to lose. Good luck, asshole.

For the rest of us, we often make the mistake of enjoying a piece of ass a little bit too much. Now, this is a tough rule to stick to. Hell, you’ll break it. I broke it only last week. But like alcoholism, admitting you have a problem is half the battle. So please, please try to stick to the Two Time Max principle. Your life will immediately seem brighter, lighter, and freer.

Fuck a girl once. Fuck her again. That’s twice, douche bag. Wrap it up.

We’ve all been there. The moment you break a girl down and finally fuck her, you are immediately burdened with a sinking gray feeling, a kind of nausea. How the hell are you going to get rid of this broad, and, worse, how are you going to avoid seeing her in the near future? Now, what happens in most cases is that we turn all crackly, like the junkies in the street. Once we get rid of her, we suddenly start wishing the pussy was around again. We’re on the phone the next night, calling it back. Like I said, this is a hard one to stick to. Pussy is hard to resist, especially easy pussy.

Before you know it, you are walking around with that permanent Man-Frown. Sure, you’re getting laid. You call her up. She calls you. You meet. But you are losing yourself in the gray cloud. And you know it. It’s not as though that feeling – that same feeling you had the first time, wishing you could get rid of her – has gone away. You still get that feeling all the time. But now, like crack, you are hooked. You are feeding off the nipple like a little fucking baby. And she has your balls in a vice.

Aside: The Man-Frown is nature’s way of telling you to get some new pussy. Make the mirror your friend. Think about how you look when you are free and single, how your eyes sparkle, how you smirk. That bitch will rob you of all of this, and you’ll start frowning. Your skin will turn grey and you’ll end up walking with a hunch. Stand up straight – pussy – and take that fucking lame frown off your face!

After a while, because you didn’t follow the Two Time Max principle, you have turned into the guy who doesn’t know why he’s getting married. You were not even looking for a wife in the first place! I thought we established that. But now, you are marrying some random piece of ass to which you just happened to get addicted.

Advice: Decide whether or not you are in the market for a wife. If the answer is ‘no’, then there is absolutely no reason to visit the same piece of ass any more than twice.

Are you going to run out of girls to choose from? Fuckface? There are millions of them out there. Stick to Two Times Max and you will be alright. (Or maybe just three…).

Casual Dater Commentary, JBIC, Men's Interest, Misadventures in Dating - The Book man frown, miserable, two times max, Women