Misadventures in Dating

Spot: DABA Central (Ulysses)
Chic: 29/American Mutt (WASP)
Body type: Pilates
Occupation: Analyst

As we all know Ulysses is the mecca of the bar scene below Centre Street. It is here every Thursday evening both men and chics swing by for at least one drink to peruse the menu of bankers, traders, analysts, lawyers and other financial types that seek solace in a pint/drink/martini and the opportunity to wake up next to what at some point in the night was a “hot” warm body the next morning.

Perhaps this is where the DABA’s train their little DABIT’s from time to time. Understand that the average woman who goes to Ulysses is not to be underestimated, after all they are not the prey, they are the hunters. I know many DABA’s that have made the leap to MABA by meeting their then FBF at Ulysses.

Finding my usual spot at the bar (sans suit of course) about to have dinner after a long weathering day in the office, not in the mood for the “game” that ensues around, I concentrate on my turkey club and fries while catching up with the bartenders.

Here is the mistake most men who go to Ulysses make. It doesn’t matter if you wear a $3,000 suit when you live in fucking Brooklyn. Most women there want a man that has the “100″ at the start of his zip code. Now if you happen to saunter in shortly after Happy Hour starts in regular clothes, the first thing the astute DABA thinks is you live in the area, hence you are desirable.

I forgot to change my watch to something a bit more subdued. Like true gold diggers they found me. Now I usually wouldn’t mind, but I had my Turkey Sandwich sitting in front of me waiting to be devoured. Yet I had to put up with these pushy little twats coming to order drinks next to me and “accidentally” bumping in to me.

Deciding I had to have my sandwich and eat it, I waited for the right DABA. Eventually she showed, not a fault could be found with her physique. A goddess by any standard or definition.

As she ordered her drink and the bartender was about to charge her, I said to put it on my tab and went back to my sandwich. Surpirised I didn’ start talking to her, she asked why I would buy a drink and not say a word to her.

I simply replied, “you are kinda cute,” and once again went back to my sandwich.

Aside: She knows I am interested but not how much I’m interested. I would have probably ran around the bar naked for a shot at doing her. But I couldn’t let her know that.

Taking initiative upon herself she engages me in conversation, pretty smart I must say. When I was done eating I got up and told her to enjoy her evening. With a look of bewilderment on her face she asked if I were leaving already.

Here was my “in” so to speak. I could stay there and dance around the topic of sex all night or I could git er done.

Walking past her, I ran my fingers down her forearm till I grabbed hold of her hand and led her outside while she asked where we were going to which i relied, “my place or yours?”

Seeing as she lived maybe a block and a half away we went to her place. By the time we got out of her elevator, I was 3 fingers deep into her cheech.

Now I can tell you about the sex, but instead lets play a game, I’ll leave some space here and you fill it in with your version.

The next morning as I gathered my shyte to head home, cliche asks when we would be going out to dinner. Overcome with laughter, I gave her a “misadventuresindating.net” card and said wait for the DABA post, if you still want to talk to me, find my number…

Casual Dater Hit List, Real Life DABA, Hit List, Turkey Club, Ulysses

Spot: Carvery at Ulysses
Time: 8P.M.
Company: A co-worker

After a pretty intense day at the office (from 11AM to 3PM) my co worker and I get to Ulysses, figured, its the kick off to St Patty’s, how can I possibly pass up on this much free tail.

We made our way to the Carvery side, to ease into a drink or 2 and there she stood at a bout 5′8, killer body and a smile to kill for. Oh and she was standing and talking to some douche.

Over the next 25 to 30 mins, I forget my co-worker and lock eyes with her every time it seems she is trying to make an escape.

If anything the one thing I have learned is always pay attention to detail. It has been about 15 minutes since she was down to ice in her glass and the douche was also down to a few tears worth of beer.

Side note: Douche Mc-Douche stood about 5′8 a bit tubby and of course nothing in comparison to my stature. The guy lacked total confidence, shoulder permanently shrugged over. And he wore khaki pants with a plaid shirt. Seriously? I thought the lumberjack look went out with the 90’s and high waisted pants.

Looks aside, I have seen some ugly assed mother fuckers nail some prime rib. Its all about your confidence, posture and well you cant be overly annoying or self absorbed as reader of this blog once told me in her attempt to shatter my ego.

Doing what any other manly man would do. I walked over to my favorite bartender, asked for an Amstel Light. Nudged my buddy on the shoulder and said, 100 bucks I take her some within 15 mins. Always up for a bet, Goose agreed.

As I made my approach, eyes locked on, she shifts her entire body to my direction, not just a hair toss or a twist of her torso, the full monty… With her friends watching to see if I crash and burn.

With the sly smile I was born with I said;

Hi, I think your friend over here needs a fresh drink while giving her the bottle of Amstel to give to him.

With a wink she accepts the bottle on behalf of her catch and I turn to walk away.

Before I can even turn around to make my egress her entire squadron erupts with laughter and I feel a tug on my elbow. With a nod of my head she joined my friend and I at the bar, where I never let her get to the bottom of a drink without having another waiting.

Side note 2: Never let another man offer a chic drinks while you are talking to her. Keep her lubricated, but don’t gt her drunk.

Within 30 mins I had her in my place.

I may have lost the money, but I won the prize…

Casual Dater Real Life Attorney, douche, Goose, Top Gun, Ulysses